man·i·fes·to /ˌmanəˈfestō/ : a written statement declaring publicly the intentions, motives, or views of its issuer

Getting Back Into the Groove

4 May 2022 - Since this is a manifesto after all, I probably should at least declare one of my intentions! Without hesitation my primary goal in life at the moment is to become more proficient and safer using my new prosthetic leg. Since I’ve been home (barely a week) from rehab I’ve had several falls. Two of which caused significant pain as I crushed my ribs. Fortunately, it doesn’t appear to be fractured, just very very sore. especially if I take a deep breath.

I hate to admit it but I think that I may have been sent home from rehab a bit prematurely. My physical therapist did mention we were going to review fall recovery techniques but that never happened. I suspect they were pressured by my insurance company to discharge me as soon as possible and after being in rehab around 5 months I was mentally ready to leave as well.

So where does one go to learn fall recovery? YouTube of course! I discovered this great series of amputee tutorials by Mission Gait that I have found most useful. Actually, I’d go so far as saying they were even inspirational! Until I scanned a few of the videos I never even considered jogging or running a possibility! Mind you I’m not planning on suddenly turning into an athlete but its nice seeing regular folks do it.

What else could happen?

3 May 2022 - You know one of these days I’ll get these webpages updated regularly! As most of you probably know by now I’ve spent the last few months in rehab after having my left leg amputated. The actual amputation wasn’t really a big deal.. I didn’t freak out over it nor am I mourning the loss of the limb. But let’s face it, it’s a life changing experience. I’m still relearning to do all the things I’ve taken for granted before, like getting my ass on a toilet to take a shit. But I’ll figure it out and hopefully my temporary immobility will get me in front of the keyboard more often to tackle other projects.

Nice Diversion

08 February 2022 – My dad came over today, can absolutely no recollection why but he ran into my neighbor as he stopped. Mentioned to her that I wasn’t doing will. I guess she took some pity on my (not that I’m ooking for that) but it prompted her to visit me several time today just to chit-chat and brought me over some apple pie.

Was very nice just to have to have someone different to talk to and conversational topics a bit different than I usually have online. Ended up catching up on some well needed sleep and though It’s early… mentally I feel a bit refreshed today. See… Doesn’t really take much (nor cost anything) to lift someone’s spirits a bit.

28 January 2022 – Still looking for distraction… aka: I need a new hobby. As usual one of the ideas that pop into my head revolve around streaming audio... I kind of waffle between podcast and streaming and when it comes to streaming sometimes, I’m thinking of licensing so I can do commercial music, other times just straight self-published rambling.

Oh dear… was planning on typing a bit more but getting a pain spike, perhaps I’ll continue this later.

Muddling Along

22 January 2022 – So, now I’m taking Gabapentin. It’s only been a few days and I’m not yet really able to evaluate it yet. Its certainly making me sleep quite a bit and as a result pain is reduced from the added rest. I seem to be having some psychological changes from it but can’t quite put my finger on it.

Mostly feeling lost. I have no sense of purpose. I just have nothing to look forward to when I wake up. Activities that I once enjoyed (when I didn’t have much time to do them) no longer are that appealing to me. Not sure if it’s lack of interest or just that now I can do them whenever I want the novelty isn’t there anymore.

If I didn’t have a tickler on my calendar to review this webpage there wouldn’t be an update here.. not that anyone’s even reading this. LOLz.

Just Make it Stop

8 January 2022 – I’ve never been suicidal but certainly looking for an escape. I find myself pondering the use of hallucinogens as a mechanism. Opioids just don’t do it anymore… Vicodin is no more affective for me than popping a Tylenol for a headache. Yea... I’m just venting... not harvesting any shrooms anytime soon LOL, but… well… who knows?

Might add that it’s been over 24-hours since I’ve had a cigarette and I’m doing surprisingly okay with that. Quitting was not my intentions at all, but our local weather has me grounded. The snow is cleared from my property (have someone that does that) but there’s a foot of snow on top of my car that I don’t have the ability to clear. Even if it were clear, the temperature is just too low for me to handle right now… so I’m just going to ponder how to spend the money I would have spent on cigarettes. Around $100/week so I should be able to find something to distract me… maybe hookers? What’s a $100 call girl get you these days? A quick hand job? LOLz

Verbosity & Pain

6 January 2022 – Sorry, seems that the greater the pain the higher my level of ramblings become. I can’t even quantify the pain anymore. Right now, at this moment I may only call it a 2 or 3 on the pain scale, but if this were a few weeks ago I would have called it 7 or 8. With time I seem to simply grow accustomed to it so from a relative perspective it just doesn’t seem so bad.

I’m not at suicide levels, so don’t worry… but I can certainly see how some people may choose death over suffering.

Why So Lame?

5 January 2022 – Fair enough question with roots deep in my heart. Clearly none of my sites are going to win any design awards. You see, when I first got excited about “The World Wide Web” the whole premise was about universal distribution or text and later images. Even though data communications at the time was primarily slow text-based terminals, engineers had the foresight to know much more was coming and to this day we’re still evolving.

Emphasis was placed on getting your information out. Be academic research or opinion. Of course, quickly the entrepreneurial minded saw how this could be exploited into a low-cost marketing platform it design trends followed that of conventional print media.

The problem with rich graphics is that even though we can scale to various screen sizes there are limits. There is simply no way to make things (easily) scale between the smallest 1-inch wearable displays to multimonitor desktop setups.

Stepping back to basic text and simple elements for emphasis (Font Size, Weight) its far easier to generate content and allow the reader to fine-tune the display to their preference. As a bonus, with the underlying code used to format simple text search engines have a far easier time parsing the data, ultimately making it more widely available for distribution.

Another part of the equation is stable tools. Sure you can “hand code” any design imaginable, but that takes a bit of effort... far more than I’m willing to commit to on a regular basis. At one time I was totally a fan of Amazon Muse. Foolishly I believed it would be available forever much like Photoshop and Illustrator. Once that product was discontinued it pushed me right back into simple notepad.exe, I’m reasonably confident that regardless the direction things go, there will always be a ready tool to edit simple text files on every platform.

Just Another Day of Hell

3 January 2022 – It feels as if I drop another notch each day. My pain levels have been slowly increasing. I fear that I’m eventually getting to the point where I won’t be able to leave the house at all. I can get away with that but I haven’t not chosen to give up cigarettes and that’s the one thing I can’t get delivered in these parts.

The temperature has dropped quite a bit today and that just exasperates the pain. When I get home, I find it difficult to breath and it takes some time for the pain levels to settle down. When I feel especially bad, I call my parents… mostly because I feel more comfortable just talking to someone while I recover just in case I pass out or something. They’ve never been the sympathetic types, so it is really a bit pointless but does help none the less.

I know I should quit smoking all together but sad to say, it’s one of the last few things I enjoy doing. Even playing around with these websites is forced. I just do it because I need to do something marginally productive with myself.

Well.. that sucks

2 January 2022 – Nope, just can’t win. Had a couple of days full of piss and vinegar ready to do something with these websites and wham… pain just takes over and totally demotivates me!

Today it’s my left leg and foot... to the point where if a doctor offered to cut it off guaranteeing the pain would go away, I’d seriously consider it. But what can ya do… just going to be the princess that I am and suck it up.

Yea, it's 2022.. so...?

1 January 2022 – No resolutions, no high hopes… Entering 2022 is just a flip of a calendar page. If you have personal issues you want to correct, you could do that at any time by simply acting. Nothing mystical or mythical otherwise happens when the Earth makes another revolution around the sun. That said, we can still have hope that we can find the strength and direction to make things happen the way we want keeping in mind some things are simply inevitable. My health for example. It’s very unlikely I will see any improvements and any actions I take will only have a minimal impact. Not giving up mind you, but fully aware of the reality I’m presented with.


31 December 2021 – Just in Time or Just Too Late? While dabbling a bit with my websites I have been slightly distracted from my pain but is it enough anymore? Lately pain levels have been at an all-time high. I’m okay if I can stay relatively idle but simple tasks like getting up and using the restroom or refilling my coffee has me back at my desk nearly in tears. All my activities are starting to revolve around how much pain it will involve... my decision to run to the corner store or even preparing myself a meal, option for a PBJ sandwich over something that will force me to stand at the stove for a few minutes.

I’ve been getting some help from my parents with some simple tasks like laundry and doing dishes but in the end, they just make me feel worse. Afterall living alone with my cat just doesn’t generate a whole lot of dishes or laundry… it certainly shouldn’t be a task I require assistance with. Getting hard not to feel totally useless.

Stop and Shop Always Comes up Short

Stop and Shop Always Comes up Short
Stop and Shop Always Comes Up Short

A Quick Follow-Up

30 December 2021 - So I ended up ordering cat food through Amazon Prime. The “per unit” cost was slightly higher than the grocery store but once I factor in the free shipping and not having to tip the driver for delivery it was actually a net savings. Sure it took an extra day but the transaction was hassle free and flawless. Certainly going to shift more of my regular daily shopping over to Amazon. There’s a reason big companies get bigger.. they know what their doing!

Hiding Behind The Issues

29 December 2021 – Being disabled I have come to rely (and grateful for) various delivery services that allow me get any provisions I need from the comfort of my own home without the pain and effort required of me these days to physically get them myself.

It becomes ever apparent that I have become very dependent on these services when the system fails and leaves me stranded.

Grocery delivery is one of those services. In recent weeks my grocery order through the former Peapod, now Stop and Shop has been plagued with “out of stock” conditions on products I need on a regular basis. Most recently cat food. The company apologizes for these situations citing the current state of the supply chain in the United States. I fully understand that, but what I don’t understand is how such a large corporation can’t incorporate this condition into their online ordering system so that one can still place orders for these products when they know they will not ship.

My theory is they do not want to disclose this out of fear that a customer may completely use a different source for an entire order of key products are unavailable.

Because of this, I am now in a position where I have to physically visit area stores in search of cat food (a mandatory supply in my home) which for most people would be nothing more than a minor inconvenience but for me will require a great exhaustion of energy followed by a period of pain recovery time. Of course now that I have lost trust in Stop and Shop as a source for my feline nutritional needs I will no longer be using them to purchase any high priority items. So much for supporting local businesses as Fedex and UPS has made it quite possible to complete my purchases from any number of sources across the globe.